How Seeking Discomfort Can Change Your Life
If you were old, and on your deathbed, and you could go back to today, what would you do right now? That is the question Thomas asked on Yes Theory. And I love this- I love their concept. It’s time we start seeking discomfort!
My Story on Seeking Discomfort
After high school, I got married, had babies, and in 2023, was working at a job I loved with a family of four. And then my job decided they no longer needed me. Eighty-seven days later, my husband chose to leave this world.
I spent eighteen months reconfiguring my life. I made our home livable, I sold the home we were living in, and I got a job teaching again. In the midst of all this, I focused only on the next goal, prioritizing what needed to happen. Then Thanksgiving 2025 changed everything.
A friend from my hometown messaged me about coming to see them, and I flatly said no. We never talk, and I only had three days to spend with my mother. Then, when leaving to come back to Texas, I cried. Two days later, the friend and I reconnected.
By spring break, I felt stuck. I didn’t want to live in Texas anymore, living the day-to-day routine that had become my comfort. I feel like it’s time to get out of my comfort zone. To seek adventure.
After all, if we’re only living the rat race- going the same places, eating the same things, living to the clock, are we really living? Inspired by Yes Theory, I began to question… What if the answer isn’t more comfort… but intentional discomfort?
What “Seeking Discomfort” Actually Means
Here’s where I digress- I’m not about to throw caution to the wind, quit paying my bills, stay up all hours of the night, all the time to seek this adventure. Instead, I’m going to take it one step at a time.
Since I am writing this during my transformation, let me break it down: I’m planning to find a remote job, then live out of my Subaru for a bit, go where I want, and do what I want.
Within the next six months, I’m going to purchase a Tab 320 to pull behind my car, pick up my dog, and continue on the journey.
While this is the plan, I’m also flexible. Something I haven’t done since Brandon passed away is set my life in stone. Only the creator has that ability.
So what I am doing is stretching myself: mentally, physically, and emotionally. Here are some examples:
- Last Friday, I made plans to go to Spark after Dark in Dallas. Sadly, they messaged me hours before the event to say they had to cancel. They offered to give me a refund and a discount on another event, so kudos to them. Now I was stuck… do I go out or head home after work? My instinct said go home.
Instead, I chose discomfort and went out. I set a goal to talk to someone new.
Not liking my original restaurant, I walked around the area, then settled on Punch Bowl Social. I was pleasantly surprised to find it on my bucket list! I talked to several new people and felt empowered- something that wouldn’t have happened if I had stayed home! - The Friday before last, I was in a funk. Four weeks out of spring break, I was in a rut. Hadn’t lost much weight since coming back, and my runs were at a stall. So I said, “Tomorrow I will run six miles”. I don’t know what made me say it. That was a big number I had been putting off since October.
And I debated on Saturday, not getting right up and doing it. Finally, at 11 AM, I laced up. An hour and a half later, I felt invincible and have since run three or four miles a day on multiple occasions. - Since I believe in whole body wellness: Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual, I also need a way to seek discomfort in the spiritual aspect of my life. This one may sound weird but it’s important to my relationship with God: I am working on being more positive. Telling him how grateful I am for what may seem like small things, such as the flowers, my dog sleeping next to me, friendships, etc…
Why We Naturally Avoid Discomfort
The part of your brain called the amygdala is constantly scanning for threats. It doesn’t just flag physical danger (like a wild animal). It also flags emotional and social discomfort. So doing things outside of your norm can feel like a “threat,” even when it’s actually good for you.
This is even more so true when you have past experiences that shape the threat for you. As I mentioned previously, I was in a relationship that led me to belittle myself and avoid true friendships for fear of letting them down to keep my partner happy.
The energetic teenager who bounced from friend group to friend group stuck to what she knew: her husband and her kids. Even my family was a threat. It took me two years after his passing to recognize that while my family was no longer a threat, I was treating the outside world like it was. And… doing some self-reflection for a moment, I recognize that this might have been the reason my friend came back into my life. To help me see that I needed to step out of my comfort zone, make new friends, and talk to strangers.
For you, this may manifest differently. You might avoid traveling solo, order the same meal every time, or stick to familiar places.
But it’s a fine time we remember: You only live once. Let’s live it to the fullest!
What Happens When You Start Leaning Into Seeking Discomfort
You Start Building Confidence
For reference, it’s April 19, 2026. I’m planning to do something big in the next six weeks. But in the meantime, I am starting to build my confidence by doing little things- like going out and talking to strangers. Checking things off my bucket list, I’m losing weight by working out and eating well, am being proactive in my appearance, and writing again.
These are all big things I’ve been missing in my life for a long time. But, more importantly, I am starting to build confidence by doing small things. You can too!
You Learn What You Actually Like
If I were to go back six months, I would find a girl who went to work, came home, cleaned, went to bed, rinse, repeat. At this point, I was actively running but wasn’t finding much enjoyment in my life.
Back in January, I started talking to a friend from home about things I wanted to do- my bucket list, if you will. And I started writing down what I actually wanted to do if I had no holdbacks. I made it digital so I could add to it. I never subtract, though- only move it from a bucket list item to an accomplished item. I like it being digital because it’s easy to get to when I think of something.
In doing this, I recognize what I actually like and am being an active participant in seeking my own discomfort.
Your World Gets Bigger
And being an active participant means that my world is getting bigger. I may not be handing out flowers to strangers on a Monday or going to Slab City (okay, I have done that), but I am expanding my world.
Sometimes we are doing it in the planning stages- learning about fun things in the areas we plan to travel to. For example, I planned to go to Bentonville, Arkansas, to hike a trail that leads to an outdoor coffee shop. Then I started researching and found out that the number one coffee shop in the world is in Bentonville- PLOT TWIST! Guess where I’m going now?
Also, if this is your plan, start actively seeking new people to spend time with. Or chat them up while you are doing the same thing. One of my next goals is to hang out with the new friend for longer. Get done at the coffee shop? Let’s go check out the hiking trail I mentioned!
It’s scary at first, but the more we do it, the better we get.
You Stop Waiting for “Perfect Timing”
As we step into seeking discomfort, it’s important to recognize that perfect timing doesn’t exist.
You just have to do it. Do it scared.
Simple Ways to Seek Discomfort
On the Road
- Take a different route. Sometimes you end up finding places that make you want to stay a while. For example, I stopped at Lake Catherine State Park in Arkansas on my way to see my mom a few years back. Now, about every other time, we stop there!
- Stop at a random restaurant. If you’re like me, this still requires some research, but even bad experiences are a part of your story.
- Talk to someone (barista, shop owner, fellow traveler): This is my favorite one on the list. I am working on this and really enjoy it. I love hearing other people’s stories!
Need tips on how to plan a road trip effortlessly? Check out my 11 tips!
With Food
- Order something you can’t pronounce: Have your waiter or waitress teach you how to say it. Want a great example of this? Kara and Nate on YouTube- she almost gets giddy when she’s trying new foods!
- Try a local specialty instead of a chain. In Southern Illinois? Grab some ski. Western Pennsylvania? Gobs, stop for the Gobs. I promise you, just about every area of the US has a specialty item that is unique to the area!
In Everyday Life
- Go somewhere alone: This is something I’m learning to get more comfortable with since Brandon’s passing. This is what presents the opportunities to meet new people and create new experiences.
- Try a new workout or class: want to learn pottery? Interested in roller skating? Go do and try something new!
- Say yes to an invitation you’d normally decline. You never get experiences without breaking out of the box!
How to Start Without Overwhelming Yourself
Start small, and stack slowly. Not everyone wants to go big or go home- do one thing that makes you feel uncomfortable and then reflect afterwards. Ask yourself, “What did I learn? Would I do this again?”
It’s also important to remember to trust your instincts and avoid burnout. Listen to your body and intuition because, after all, not every “yes” is a good one.
Conclusion: Discomfort as a Path to Freedom
Discomfort should be used as a tool to help you create a richer life. What are the days you remember- the ones that look the same or the ones where you got out of your comfort zone?
So, where have you been choosing comfort over growth? Now is the time- try one new thing this week or say yes where you would normally say no!
